Redowned .

I did it again. Another 20 minute session, hiding in the girl’s toilets over recess. I had to stop so the blood could dry; if it stained my dress people would know.

I need to do it. Just for now. Just so I can keep it together, and be happy for when I’m with him. I need to do that. I do.

The nightmares are getting worse, but that’s okay. I went to sleep happy. It was lovely. Until I woke up thismorning in hysterics- but they were dreams. They’re irrelevant.

I just need to keep strong, and smile around that one person. I need to put them before myself, and everything will go just fine.

I just hope friday night isn’t a complete and utter failure.

I’m gonna be okay.

You don’t deserve this.

Of all the people in the world to deserve something horrible, it’s not you.

I wish there was more I could do to change it- but the most I can do, is to hang in there and smile. Not let you stress, or think for one second that anybody else here isn’t perfectly happy.

And to help you when it happens. Again and again, every single day.

And I will. I will wait for you, and I will care for you, until the day I die.

I love you.

It just makes things so much fucking harder.

I use every chance I get to escape reality.

I keep myself busy.

Time to think is time to die.

You know what I like?

Those beautiful people

Who come out of nowhere

And just make everything better.

YOU COULDN’T GIVE TWO FUCKING SHITS

FUCK YOU

YOU FUCKING CUNT

I HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR YOU AND YOU SAY NOBODY FUCKING CARES

I WAS ALWAYS THERE, FUCKING ALWAYS

AND YOU DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK

YOU WOULD DO NOTHING FOR ME

YOU’RE THE ONE THAT DESTROYED MY OPINION ON PEOPLE

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

NO WONDER I’M SUCH A FUCKING NERVOUS WRECK.

I’m sick of it. I’m not being your little pushover anymore.

I did it again. I sliced my skin.

My leg is covered in scratches, and blood.

I’m not handling. My teachers are giving me sympathy, but I don’t want it.

I wish they’d just give me the detentions that are due and leave me alone.

I just need to drop out for a while, and I will get back on track.

But I need to talk to somebody- but I’ve got nobody.

I can’t. I can’t tell anybody everything I need to.

Except for one person- but he’s always busy. And he hates the person shit got complicated with. And his mum is so judgemental.

And I can’t talk to my counsellor. She’ll tell my mum what I did.

& What they did.

there’s them

and then there’s me

dhgfuiewjenad i need to shut up

and people i know need to stop reading my bitches and complaints

kicked a hole in my wall haha oops

MOOD SWINGS

SHOOT ME IN THE FUCKING FACE

edit; it’s a very awkward spot to cover up..

fucking thanks for that cunt

every time. every fucking time.

what am i doing?

It’s okay

It’s okay that I’m the last choice

As long as they’re happy

And as long as I’m not always the first person to talk

I mean I always am

But…I don’t know.

Just pretend.

Are you retarded

DON’T BRING MY POTATO FACE INTO THIS ~

Fucking fuck I’m lame

bedtime